Just can't do it justice ...

Ughhh ... chruch this morning was fantastic ... Pastor Whitt's message was challenging and right on time. I find myself completely frustrated in this moment however because try as I might ... I can't seem to convey what I want to about what I -got- from it all. My perspective on many things is changing ... my entire perspective for even attending chruch is changing ... my expectation levels are changing and my purpose is changing and I can't figure out any good way to adequately convey that to the people I most want to share it with ... ya'll!

Admittedly ... for years I've attended to church on the basis of getting my needs met ... of getting FED myself. I wanted a church home that would meet all my needs and this morning ... Pastor Whitt dropped a bomb on that type of thinking for me ... again! ~laughs~ Slowly I am starting to see the church as not a place but a person ... the bride of Christ. I am starting to see meetings of our body as a time to join together ... to cry out to God, stand in the gap for our city and for those who don't know Him, to seek direction about our particular part of the body's assignment in the Body of Christ. I am seeing church as less of the place that is responsible for feeding me and more of a responsibilty I bear with everyone else in advancing God's Body in the neighborhood, city, region, state, country, world .... .

I am starting to view corporate worship as a time to praise God and push back the enemy with those praises on behalf of those who don't know Him yet and less as my little intimate dance with God where He speaks to me. My intimate time with my husband isn't in front of a group of people ... it's in the privacy of our bedroom (or other private location) ... yet for years I've seen corporate worship as a time of personal ministry to me specifically and if I didn't get that ministry -touch- then I was bummed. I am starting to see that my worship corporately helps set the tone for those who are lost or hurting within the service to experience a touch from God ... not as MY time ... but as something I do on behalf of others in our services. It's part of my warfare ... it's part of my responsibility to help beat back the darkness in the "atmosphere" so that others can have glimpses of the light of God.

I am starting to see my corporate worship as not only warfare but something we do on behalf of those who don't yet know how ... and when the liberty of the spirit comes and settles in the corporate setting ... people are touched by God in ways that startle me. My kids love coming to our church ... yet often the sermons are pretty intense and practical driven and they lack a real understanding of worship. As we take them time after time though ... they are learning how to worship God ... their lives are being transformed ... messages that on the surface would seem to have little relevance or effect on their lives SPEAK to them. I believe that comes in large measure because of the mantle those in our church have taken up to pray and worship on their behalf ... breaking through resistance and helping to create a spiritual atmosphere that ministers the Lord's touch to our kids and others who have previously had no connection to church.

I believe that the genuine heart praise that people in our church offer up ... not just after they FEEL God themselves but on behalf of others is a profound change rendering exercise. Entering in to worship with purpose ... to praise and touch the Lord ... to invite Him into our midst in glory ... so that He is free to move -- is a great shift in my thinking from the mindset of ... "Ok God ... He's the rocking worship (throw hands up) touch ME." The place normally for me to get a ministering touch from God is in my private time with Him ... not for me to be consumer greedy on Sunday mornings. It's not that God can't touch me AND everyone else that doesn't know how to seek Him on their own ... it's that the shift in perspective is crucial. Instead of getting up on Sunday mornings and heading to the corporate meeting of the body going ... "Ok God ... speak to me, motivate me, teach me, annoint me, give me give me gimmie ... " , it becomes about my responsibility ... my privilege ... my duy ... and my honor to serve IN the house of God WITH the Body of Christ.

To worship ... pray ... cry out to God on behalf of a people who are hurting ... lost ... dying ... IS the heart of God for those people. God loves those hurting, dying, lost people in our neighborhoods, cities, state, country and world that many of us don't even see as we go about our busy lives. Look at the old testiment prophets and leaders ... often they cried out to God on BEHALF of the people ... much less often are they quoted crying out to God on their own behalf. Don't get me wrong ... I'm thankful for David's psalms of crying out to God ... I need examples of those who know how to cry out to God in their own times of crisis! But my Christian life has been focused entirely too much on ME ... on my little things ... my feelings ... my emotions ... and it's really a season for me of ... -getting over myself- and realizing that there is work to do and a hurting world that needs Jesus and that I have a duty as a Warrior and part of the Body of Christ.

I could fill every single gathering with my own demands, needs, and perspective but I am seeing how having a Christ driven perspective for the heart of God's people changes lives ... brings about excitement, anticpation and responsibility that doesn't make us a fat and happy little congregation that hunkers down in the walls of the building praying to be taken on home to be with the Lord. It gives us purpose ... and it changes lives!

Good gravy what a babble ... I pray that it makes some little bit of sense ... this is probably a better 3 hour conversation at Starbucks than blog post kinda thing ... but ... maybe you guys can -get- me in there somewhere.