No fancy titles tonight nor any really catchy themes unfortunately! ~laughs~ It's been a while since I've posted though so I feel obligated to -pony up- something lest I begin to worry everyone.
So it's been crazy lately and I feel drained ... lots going on here with our kids at work ... with work itself ... with our friends ... and with me. I haven't been sleeping much and that stinks but it'll work itself out I am sure.
We went to church this morning and it was definitely the highlight of my week ... well that and last Wednesday night at church. You know ... it's been so long ... so incredibly long since -church- was home. We went YEARS with no church and trying to find out way through just the encouragement of friends and our praise CD's and what we -knew- to do. I am convinced the greatest point of suffering for us in the last ten years has been the lack of a good church home.
Granted ... we didn't have a great many choices in Havelock and the area after the -big burn- with FCF and the ensuing fallout ... but since then ... it's just been a long long valley that eventually gave way to a desert that was completely overwhelming. We didn't even really bother to try to find a church here when we moved ... just like we gave up on church in Havelock. We can only attend every other week so that's a daunting point in terms of trying to get committed and build relationships ... BUT ... we are finally home!
I love ... LOVE LOVE LOVE our church! I love the people ... I love the variety ... I love the music ... I love the ministerial staff ... I love the Word that is brought forth and expounded on ... I love Paster Whit ... I love that HE is finally someone that I think that I can -trust- from the pulpit again. We haven't had the opportunity or FOUND the opportunity in years to find a church that truly encourages and feeds us as well as clicks with our own convictions. Christian City Church of Greensboro is finally that place we believe. For years I've walked into church with more armour on mentaly, spiritually, and emotionally than anyone ought to have to. I have analyzed every jot and tittle ... every time of ministry ... every word spoken in the pulpit ... EVERYTHING to the point that it was an exercise in misery ... not a time of spiritual renewal.
Pastor Whit got the same level of skepticism and guardedness that I've given every other Pastor that I've encountered for the last 10 or more years. I basically walked in and said to myself but to him - "I dare you to prove that you can be trusted". I tore apart everything that took place in corporate ministry. I riffled through the webpages ... I looked ... I searched ... I WAITED for the shoe to drop. I don't mean that I've looked for problems with other people or whether or not there are ever difficulties but I mean ... I have examined the voice of the Man ... because I don't think I can stand to be burned like we were before.
Every test ... every question ... every point that means EVERYTHING to me ... God has answered at CCC. Paster Whit touched on church authority and trust on Wednesday night ... I bawled my head off. He spoke about trust being essential in allowing a Paster to lead the congregation. He spoke about needing to believe in the vision that God gives him as the leader of the chruch and the elders in confirmation of that vision. Normally this whole topic would have sent me to through the door without even bothering to hear the rest. I have been unable to trust ... utterly. HOWEVER ... He also spoke about the importance of ceasing that trust when there is a check in your spirit or there is a violation of your conscience taking place. This was freedom on a platter for me! I NEEDED to hear this from the Paster so badly. He stressed that it's important not to let our belief that we know what is best for the running of the church become a point of contention when it didn't match what he felt was the leading of the Lord for our church -- (hello John & Helen!) but he also pointed out that you can not blindly obey a man when there is a violation of true conscience or a serious check in your spirit.
Today he spoke about taking our cares to the Lord. This is a theme that he has been expounding on for several weeks. He was speaking of about Hannah and Eli in the temple and how Hannah took her cares to God ... NOT to the Priest necessarily. She let the Priest know that she was troubled but she WENT to the ALTER to take her burden to the Lord ... she knew that her problem was a God sized problem ... not a Man sized problem. He made the point that so many times we don't take God sized problems to God ... we mope around ... hoping someone at church will notice and that we can be ministered to. Or that we fall into being disgruntled and complaining and always seeking -counsel- but really seeking attention. He pointed out that many times we need to simply take things before the LORD ... and that it's great when a Pastor or minister knows that we are struggling to support us in prayer but that EVERYTHING doesn't need to be known in detail by the Ministry team. THIS was important to me because it shows me that he trusts GOD to be in control ... that he doesn't feel that he must be.
The church is very large ... which at first bothered me. There are about 700 people there on Sundays ... sometimes as many as 1,000. I felt that it would be so hard for us to get involved because of our schedule and it's so easy to be lost in a large crowd. Not so. We spoke to Paster Whit after service Wednesday night ... and this morning he remembered EXACTLY what we had told him and was surprised that we were there. He thought we were working this weekend. May not seem like much ... but it impressed me.
The church is great ... we leave encouraged ... challenged ... and ready to face our Giants. The messages are relevant and that push us ... while being comforting and inspirational at the same time. We've heard several people in leadership speak and that too has been great. Each person has brought solid word and insight. The worship is amazing ... it's ... Home. I am thankful.
As for the rest of my wrestlings this week ... maybe I'll write more tommorrow ... or maybe I'll just keep taking them to the alter and watch the Lord work as my faith grows.
Speaking of Faith ... Paster Whit touched on that this morning too ... maybe I'll write more tommorrow ... it was good stuff.
Anyways ... I love you guys. I'm still here ... we are still fighting ... but we know we aren't alone!
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4 comments:
I along with Caroline am so excited about this new church. It is so amazing to go to a place and never want to go home. The Word given is always realistic and practical. It always reaches to a place where I am at. The Worship is incredible. The couple that leads worship are an interracial couple that remind us so much of John and Helen... that it also sort of makes it feel like home. Most of all I enjoy our Pastor and his allowance of the Holy Spirit. If a message that he had planned, doesn't get to be told because God leads him in a different direction... he follows. If a message is getting deep and he just feels impressed to continue on... he takes off his watch and goes for it.
YEAH!!!!!! Waxie is back! I am so glad that the Lord has placed you guys into that church. God is faithful... You guys have been in a long dry season, but the rain is coming, at first a mist then a drizzle and on to a steady down pour.
Don't look back... Keep your hands on the plow...
Whee! I was worried, hadn't heard from you in a while. Sounds like things are going great. Glad you guys finally have a home...I can't tell you what our "home" had meant to us in the past 12 years. We love you.
good to hear from you! I've been checking your blog and not seen anything, so I was getting worried too!
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