~laughs~ Nawwww ... not you guys! ~sighs~ I am so tired right now ... my house is a wreck and I feel like all I do is clean up after cats. For someone who is NOT a reknowned housekeeper it stinks to begin with ... but to feel like you are cleaning up constantly after ANIMALS is another. Don't get me wrong ... I love my babies but ... holy enchilada batman ... they make such a mess. I'm not talking about the hair ... I'm talking about the fact that since we only LIVE in this house half the month ... it's THEIR house! Which means when we are gone ... they have full run of the joint ... and the STRANGEST things are treasures to a cat. I have walked around my house tonight picking up hair bows, Christmas bows (BIG FAVORITE), milk tops, bottle caps, assorted pieces of fluff, 47 hundred pre-made cat toys, cellophane wraps, bits of toilet paper and paper towels (yes they shredded an ENTIRE roll this week but that's usual), match sticks, ... pretty much every stupid thing under the sun and THEY have the audacity to sit and watch me and look offended that I am fooling with their supreme organizational masterpiece.
We have Nick in the guest room so there is stuff in boxes lining the hall of my already small house ... we pack and unpack every week so that's a chore in and of itself ... there are laundry baskets everywhere ... there were dirty dishes to tackle from when we left last week ... those STUPID 12 can boxes that soda come in to crush, a million and one pieces of junk mail to wade through after I JUST did that ... floors (only one room in our house is carpeted, all the rest are hardwood floors) to be cleaned that I haven't gotten to yet, a kitchen floor that NEVER looks clean because of course, it's the site of the daily, nay hourly cat fest complete with halftime food soccer and goalie action for entertainment, the fridge needs cleaning out ... AGAIN because of course I bought food we didn't eat and it's gone bad, cabinets to try to fit MORE food into and new drinking glasses with almost NO space ... books to put away with maxed out bookshelves ... strange fluids to clean up on the floors because cats throw up and they like to share that with as many rooms as possible (WHILE doing it ... so that everyone else can see the spectacularness of their show), a leaking toilet that I have to get fixed, NO room in the bathroom and about a jillion things to put away ... and ... I'm overwhelmed.
Add to that ... a new crack in our brand new car's windshield to get replaced, a great deal of personal crises and frustrations with our friends here ... trying to get to see my Mom and Dad sometime in the next century and already overwhelming fall plans ...
I would love to cry but there are no tears. I have been on two -emergency- errands this week to help out friends that live like ... 40 mins away ... and that has been taxing as well as just watching people we love struggle. I feel like Satan is just standing over the pot of our lives and stirring it with his little finger and laughing. Now I know that may sound silly ... it's just this feeling that I have. Nick, Rich and I fasted this weekend and it's like ... voila ... hell hath come for a visit!
I know that all this seems silly and trivial and I sound like a superficial blowhard ... I'm just venting ... I love my babies ... I love my friends ... I am happier than I have been in a while on one hand ... but on the other ... I feel like our lives are just being ... whipped into a frenzy because of our recent stands on spiritual things and frankly ... I'm losing my wind ... AND it's just too early in the -game- for me to be winded. I can think of a thousand things I am doing wrong or not doing enough of ... but in the end ... right now I'm just tired ...
love you guys!
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1 comment:
You sound like me a few months ago! I completely understand. Make a list, decide what has to be done, what can wait, and enlist help. But most important, remember it's just an attack...ask God to give you His perspective and peace....I'll be praying for you!
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